Friday, August 12, 2011

Things that I want to say to people at work

1. I'm sorry, I thought this was the elevator. When did I walk into the "let's talk about my cervix room"? And who the hell are you? I've never seen you before in my life.

2. Yes, I know you're a doctor. You are probably awesome at what you do because you work here. Please don't tell me about your pregnant cancer stricken patients. Do they offer social skills in your continuing medical education requirements? They should.

3. I am allowed 250mg of caffeine a day. Back. The. Hell. Off.

4. Perhaps you misunderstood me. I asked "is the drug company providing lunch for this meeting" not "please tell me about your vaginal tearing from your son's birth 5 years ago". I can understand how they sound the same and no, I'm no longer interested in who's providing lunch.

5. Yes, I have gotten big. I'm growing a human. This is what tends to happen. However, I fail to see how I've gotten SO MUCH bigger from yesterday when you said the same thing. Again. For the 30th consecutive day. I don't say that about your ass do I? No. I didn't think so.

1 comment:

  1. sigh. I think my favorite was from the older nurses in the elevators...(ahh the elevators...I hate the elevators)
    Your first? Twins? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA (laughing all the way out the door as it slowly closed behind them)
    Should get this shirt...,456280705